did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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