the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
