just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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