M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize