just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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