he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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