so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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