508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
