i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
