I wish I could teleport
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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