she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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