Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
