Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
