I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
