Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
