I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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