At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize