We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
