Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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