Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
