all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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