It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
