i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
