whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
