I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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