I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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