doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
