But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
