I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
