I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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