his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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