this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
