So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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