it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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