No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
