with your own penis?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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