ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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