i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
