She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
