So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
