Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
