Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize