Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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