dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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