How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
