Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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