I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
