i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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