My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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