dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is this the sara with the beer cane?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize