Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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