I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
