Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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