just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
