Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
