Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
