No stitches, just platelets and will power
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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