he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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