He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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