I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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