She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
