I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
